Today, I want to discuss emotional intelligence and my Breathe and Believe exercise. With increased emotional intelligence, we can name and experience our emotions without being overwhelmed by them. It would be as if we’re surfing on top of our feelings on a surfboard, as opposed to drowning in our emotions on the ocean floor. To be able to surf on top, we must label and experience our feelings. We cannot numb, avoid, or suppress our feelings. When we’re overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, people tend to hold their breath, the mind is probably racing, and the body feels tight. We can experience and move through difficult emotions in one way via breathing exercises.
The Mayo Clinic asserts that intentional deep breathing exercises can physically calm and regulate the autonomic nervous system. If the autonomic nervous system is regulated, then blood pressure lowers and one can experience an immediate sense of calm. Deep breathing exercises can also regulate oxygen and carbon dioxide levels. If those levels are stable, then you feel calm and relaxed in the head and body.
So, perhaps you have already heard of the 4-4-4-4 breathing exercise. It’s also called box breathing or square breathing. You’re taking slow, deep breaths. But, I want to talk about three adaptations of this exercise.
Like I was saying, we’re overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, you’re holding your breath, your mind is racing, and your body feels tight. When you’re in this type of distress, then we’re needing something quick and dirty. In this instance, I would just breathe normally. Don’t think about whether you’re inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Just inhale to the count of four, quick or slow. Hold your breath to the count of four. Exhale to the count of four and do this 4 times. In this sense, we just want to get you back to baseline. We’re not concerned with form and perhaps this would be enough to get you to a calmer state.
If things are more stable and you’re not in that acute state of stress, then you can carry out the exercise in its traditional form. Ideally, you’d be seated, with your feet on the floor. You’re seated straight up with your hands on the tops of your legs, palms up. If you’re comfortable, you can lower or close your eyes. First, you’ll exhale and expel all of the oxygen in your lungs. Then, you’ll deeply and slowly inhale through your nose, your belly is sticking out, to the count of four. Hold your breath to four. Then, exhale through the mouth to four. Be intentional with the act of emptying your lungs. Then, hold your breath to the same slow count of four. Then, repeat to inhaling to four and do this four times. That is the typical box breathing exercise. If you practice this regularly, you will be reducing your stress levels and calming your nerves, something we all need and want.
Now, this is my advanced adaptation of the breathing exercise, what I’m calling the Breathe and Believe exercise. When we’re stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, we’re in a state of fear and uncertainty. This makes total sense in our current climate and simply the general process of being an adult on Planet Earth. To optimize our human experience and show up as our highest selves, we’ll need to consciously take ourselves out of this fear posture and place ourselves into a state of control and certainty. One way you can do this effectively is through mantras. In this case, you can soothe yourself by saying one of the multiple mantras, like, “I’m safe. I’m loved. I’m capable. I’m calm.” Something short and sweet that you can say on the exhale to the count of your four. The traditional box breathing exercise is effective. What I’m wanting is to maximize and optimize the experience. Imagine if you were in the habit of saying, “I’m safe. I’m loved. I’m capable. I’m calm” and you believed it. Because at the end of the day, we all already have the tools that we need to slay the day’s monsters and solve the day’s problems. Sometimes we need an external reminder like a breathing exercise or a mantra, or those things combined into a Breathe and Believe exercise to gain perspective.
What would you say on the exhale?