Given our current circumstances, I’d like to discuss self-compassion and what I’m calling the “Compassion Container” exercise. I usually complete paperwork, billing, and work tasks on Thursdays and Fridays so that I can enjoy my weekends. This past Thursday, I went into Boston to my office to record new content for my coaching program. I was so excited to do this!
Before I left, I was telling my best friend on the phone that I really didn’t want to go. But, I went in with my mask, bucket of hand sanitizer, and disinfectant wipes. I didn’t want to feed my inner procrastinator and I wanted to empower the “Let’s get this done” part of me. But, I proceeded to spend 3 hours and paid for 3 hours of parking recording videos that I won’t be using. On Friday, I was pretty upset about how the videos turned out. I was being very hard on myself and I was telling myself that I should have just stayed home and saved myself the effort. So, I wanted to demonstrate self-compassion towards myself on Friday, which is when I usually complete any last administrative tasks.
I told my husband, “I’m taking the day off. I’m going to relax.” I reached into the proverbial Compassion Container and out came “watch funny shows and movies.” I also did that all day Saturday. So, on Sunday, I HAD to finish my paperwork, otherwise it just gets added to this week’s work and I didn’t want to pile on the work for myself. I’m glad that I took those two days off because it led to my intentional work on Sunday, or Part 2 of my Compassion Container exercise.
We know that not all hours of the day are created equally. I know you’ve experienced this. Something that would only take one or two hours during your most productive window takes 5 or 6 hours during your non-productive window. This is exactly what happens to me when it comes to paperwork.
If I push most things to evening time, it spreads out over several hours because a task will stretch out to the time you assign it. If you say that something takes a week to do, like paperwork, doing taxes, or cleaning out one room, it will take a week. So, I mapped out my Sunday.
I’m usually most productive after 1PM and until 3 or 4PM, and definitely not after 6PM. I gave myself 2 hours to do 2 hours of paperwork and voila, I did finish it in 2 hours. I also gave myself a break after I did a good chuck of paperwork, every 30 minutes. I was so glad to walk away from my laptop at 6PM! This was another act of self-compassion. By being reasonable and realistic of ourselves, I believe that this firmly falls into the Compassion Container. If I had scheduled paperwork on a Sunday night after 6PM, this would not been demonstrating self-compassionate towards Sunday Joann. So, you can see by these two situations of taking time off on Friday and Saturday, as well as being intentional and solution-focused on Sunday, I practiced self-care and demonstrated self-compassion.
Sometimes, what comes out of the Compassion Container is to take a load off on the coach and to eat bon-bons, but sometimes it’s the exact opposite, as I demonstrated over the last three days. So, many different things and actions, combined with non-action items (like turning off your brain and doing nothing), will live together in the Compassion Container.
Please think about what you want to put into your Compassion Container. Extra credit would be to list those things onto slips of papers into an actual container! Comment below with what you want to put inside your Compassion Container.